Barack Obama Was Once Kicked Out Of Disneyland

posted by Jessica Goodman - 

He did WHAT?!

Posted by Delish on Thursday, September 13, 2018

Our former US President, Barack Obama, was once kicked out of Disneyland! It was way before he was in the public eye obviously! He was smoking cigarettes with his buddies while visiting the park and they got kicked out! 

Here is the full story:

He said he did "the Bare Necessity thing and, you know, the Small World and the Matterhorn." Cool Dad tip #1: always add "the" before every proper noun, whether it wants to be there or not. Caught up in reverie about "the Small World," Chill Papa remarked, "I mean, it was the bomb." Cool Dad tip #2, make use of the vernacular so that the youngs know what you're talking about.

But, like a story that has gone on long enough at a family reunion, Obama: The Disney Years did not end there. Fresh Father then segued into a story of his second trip to Disneyland. Remember, all of this was prompted simply by the thought "I am in Anaheim." This man is writing The Audacity of Hope II: Still Audacious by free associating off of a map.

"I was... in college," he began with his trademark pregnant pauses. "And I was going to Occidental College, up between Eagle Rock and Pasadena." Cool Dad tip #3: Always give directions. Always. Insist.

He and a group of friends came down this second time not for the rides but to see the band Kool and the Gang, he said, prompting laughter from the crowd. This is the point at a family reunion where Groovy Patriarch points to your younger cousins and says "Y'all don't know nothing about Kool and the Gang, do you? You got that on your little phones? On your little Spotifers or what not? We used to get down." And one of your aunts has to yell from the next room, "CAN YOU GET BACK TO THE STORY?"

Nobody has an appreciation for the art of storytelling anymore, Cool Dad grouses. Cool Dad tip #4: Take forever!

After the concert, Obama said, he and his friends had some time to hang out, maxin', relaxin' all cool, hanging at Disney, after the Kool. They went over to "the gondolas." (According to a Google search I did using the terms "What is he talking about?" Obama is referring to Skyway, which closed in 1994.)

"And I'm ashamed to say this," Obama said, with absolutely no shame. Cool Dad tip #5: How will they know you were cool if you don't tell them about all the rules you broke? "But, uh, a few of us were smoking. On the gondolas." Here, he made a smoking gesture with his hand. Cool Dad tip #6: Pantomine!

The crowd went wild and Obama quickly clarified that he meant cigarettes, not oui'd. "Terrible thing," Cool Dad said.

When the group arrived at the other end of the Skyway, two Disneyland police officers approached him and kicked him out. "This is a true story everybody," he said, adorably assuming we might think he made this up. He continued, "I was booted from the Magic Kingdom."

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